More Fun with Sheed

"Both teams played hard."

In his days with the Portland Trailblazers, Sheed made plenty of headlines for the right reasons, leading the Blazers to back-to-back conference finals and being named to two All-Star teams. He made headlines for the wrong reasons too. He threatened a referee outside the arena on a loading dock (Tim Donaghy, go figure) and set an NBA record for technical fouls. And while this quote may fall into the latter category, it can't help but make you laugh. It's classic Sheed. After a frustrating game, Sheed sat down at the press table to answer questions, like he is required to do by the league. But no one said how he had to answer them, did they? His answer to every question, no matter the question? "Both teams played hard." Leave it to Sheed to take a cliché and make it a memorable quote.

"I'm guaranteeing Game 2. That's the bottom line and that's all I'm saying. They will not win Game 2 and you heard that from me. Put it front page, back page, middle of the page. They will not win Game 2."

The Pistons didn't play well in Game 1 of the Eastern Conference finals against the Indiana Pacers in 2004. Rasheed didn't either, scoring just four points on 1-for-7 shooting, including an airball from the corner that could have tied the game with ten seconds left. But that performance didn't affect his confidence, apparently. With a crowd of reporters around his locker after the game, Sheed gave them all the sound byte they were looking for. Channeling his inner Joe Namath, he guaranteed a Piston victory in Game 2. It took one of the most famous blocks in basketball history by Tayshaun Prince to seal the deal, but the Pistons helped Wallace come through on his promise and tied the series at one game apiece. And the "Guaran-Sheed" was born.

"All those (expletive) calls they had out there with Mike and Kenny, y'all seen that (expletive). Lot of them phantom calls, cats flopping and falling all over the floor and they're calling that (expletive). Y'all, (expletive), that ain't basketball out there. It's all (expletive) entertainment. Y'all (expletive) should know that (expletive). All (expletive) entertainment."

Sheed was fined $25,000 by the league for this little ditty. I'm assuming $12,500 for the profanity and $12,500 for criticizing the officials. Referees Mike Callahan and Kenny Mauer were the objects of his wrath following a 106-102 loss to the Boston Celtics in Game 5 of the Eastern Conference finals in 2008. It may be all (expletive) entertainment out there, but Sheed, you are all the (expletive) entertainment I need in my life.

"They're going to boo me; I love it. I wish little Napoleon didn't make that rule because I'd be carrying that belt back in there."

"Little Napoleon" would be commissioner David Stern. "That belt" would be the replica WWE championship belt he designed and purchased for all his Piston teammates following their championship run in 2004. The Pistons were presented with their belts (much cooler than rings if you ask me) before the 2005 season opener against the Houston Rockets. Sheed used his belt to inspire his team's title defense throughout the season, but commissioner Stern requested that Wallace and the Pistons not bring their belts into road arenas. In this particular instance, Sheed is speaking of a return to Portland.

Link to the rest.